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September 12, 2024

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Bruce Dickinson

Well well well, Bruce Dickinson would be darned if his prescience didn't strike again! Top Golf had Peak Bubble written all over it, just as I had predicted some of these posts circa 2017 and 2019

https://www.burlingamevoice.com/2017/07/15-million-is-a-lot-of-golf.html#comments

https://www.burlingamevoice.com/2019/04/top-golf-offers-a-preview.html#comments


2017: "Guys, listen, before the council pats each other on the back in self adulation and felicitations, even prior to any ink being put to paper on a final agreement, we gotta ask ourselves, is this something that Burlingame really wants??

This TopGolf operation is growing extremely rapidly (as are some competitors), popping up everywhere, and in addition to potentially being a product of a tech and economic bubble, Bruce Dickinson's talented staff has unearthed a bad fact pattern for this company. In just a matter of a few months, TopGolf has been involved in encouraging a city to break its own zoning laws, not adhering to another city's contract to hire minority workers, building a location on a former slave burial ground, and two instances of patrons falling from the 3 story driving range within one month! Truth is stranger than fiction:

http://www.chron.com/news/nation-world/article/Slave-cemetery-found-at-Topgolf-development-site-11255513.php

http://www.wcnc.com/news/two-more-men-injured-after-falling-at-topgolf_/453711963

http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2017/06/birmingham_gives_topgolf_30_da.html

http://www.denverpost.com/2017/07/03/topgolf-thornton-proposal-halted/

Given this council's abysmal track record of negotiating or sniffing out any good deals for Burlingame, Bruce Dickinson thinks this TopGolf gig will last 5-7 years, tops.

Don't say that I didn't warn everyone to duck by yelling "Fore!" so that a microchipped golf ball won't hit ya on your noggin'!


2019: "Looks like Top Golf places Bottom Priority on Burlingame residents and businesses.

This concept, while sounds kind of cool, reeks of being at or near the peak of a bubble. Basically a more adult version of Chuck E Cheese's or Dave & Busters.

Top Golf has a sordid history in operating in other communities. Not sure this is the greatest business for Burlingame.

Bruce Dickinson

Just as a post-mortem for my friends in Burlingame, the Top Golf concept actually had many prior failures. How you ask? Well time for a good ol' Bruce Dickinson teach-in!

Top Golf, while seemingly new, is actually a failed business model, it's just that the product is golf instead of something else. Dave & Busters (which busted several times) and Chuck E Cheeses were both these entertainment concepts for kids that required a lot of investment in real estate, were subject to fickle consumer behavior and had high ticket prices relative to the value received. You go do these places maybe 1-2x a year tops, one being for birthdays. The price point makes repeat visits pretty crazy and too expensive.

At $70 an hour at Top Golf, you can go to a real driving range instead and hit a couple of buckets of balls for $30. $70 x 5 hrs = $350 can buy you an 18 hole round of golf at some pretty nice courses. The value proposition doesn't make sense.

The exact same issue is with Peloton. Sure a stationary bike is great and it's kind of fun having a hot instructor in spandex motivate you ( I kid, I kid). But think about it..why pay $300 for a real bike that can take you places when can you pay $2,000 for a Peloton that doesn't take you anywhere. Plus you'll have the privilege of paying $40 a month to stream motivational instructors giving you a sense of purpose and belonging for the same price as an OnlyFans subscription, but with more family friendly content! While everyone wants a fit, sculpted body, why use inexpensive effective exercise techniques such as running and lifting weights when you can use an ineffective expensive stationary bike which will probably turn into a clothes hanger after three months!

Top Golf is just the latest manifestation of all these businesses just with a slightly different product. It just takes a "Titan of Industry" like yours truly, Bruce Dickinson, to suss it out early and before anyone else!

Cassandra

And no loud music or noise bouncing off the bay and into the hills as happened with the last council mis-step…

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