Dog gone it (by Michelle in Daily Journal)
My dog was going to be the belle of the ball or, at the very least, winner of the fourth annual Burlingame Pet Parade this weekend. There was very little doubt Riley would come home with a prize. He's cute (when he's not covered in dirt from new discoveries in the yard); he's smart (although his inability to come when called tend to make one think otherwise); and, his gigantic ears are nearly bigger than his furry head and perpetually stand at attention. What's not to love?
More importantly, though, Riley has an ace in his pocket (or is that around his collar) that every other Fluffy and Spot doesn't the editor of the Daily Journal on the judging panel and the newspaper in the list of sponsors. Certainly, I would never ask anybody to do me any favors but (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) I'm sure the fact Riley is already well-known in the office can't hurt. If his absolute adorableness isn't obvious during the parade, at least my editor, Jon Mays, can rely on institutional knowledge of his shining personality and stellar ability to show off a festive costume. Jon can be the Tim Donaghy of the pet beauty pageant world. Sure, he risks being unmasked as a fraud, throwing the outcome for his own benefit, but I will do my best to ensure all seems fair.
The first issue is a costume. It was suggested to me that a Western theme is always a winning combination; I remember something being said about how cowgirl outfits are always eye-catching. The problem is I don't know if I'm quite a fringe and cowboy hat kind of girl and I'm not sure if Riley is keen on the idea of tiny spurs attached to the back of each foot. This year, the judges announced they will award a special ribbon for Best Costume with a Centennial Theme.? Something tells me dressing up as Tom the Tree and outfitting the dog with a lumberjack ensemble complete with ax would not go over so well in Burlingame even if I do have one judged adequately bribed. Maybe I'll have to ditch the costume idea and hope for Most Interesting Pet. I'm not sure how one conveys an animal's level of interest but I've got a couple of days to figure it out. The dog admittedly has an unexplainable fascination with eating wood-based products and anything filled with pillows or foam, but I'm not certain that qualifies as interesting.
Of course, if he really had a skill that met the standard, I might have hauled him over to Redwood City instead. As part of that city's downtown celebration last weekend, organizers kicked off the first annual Your Pet's Got Talent? event. I declined to even enter the dog in that competition; even with a well-planted mole to skew the judging, I'm not positive he would have had a good showing. He can't howl I Love You like the dogs that pop up occasionally on late night television talk shows and he has yet to save anybody from a burning building or bring them a hot toddy if trapped in the snow.
Maybe dressing the dog up and dragging him around in a decorated wagon is the better idea, after all. Keeping him from chewing off the pint-size hat or jumping from the float will be a talent in itself.
My dog was going to be the belle of the ball or, at the very least, winner of the fourth annual Burlingame Pet Parade this weekend. There was very little doubt Riley would come home with a prize. He's cute (when he's not covered in dirt from new discoveries in the yard); he's smart (although his inability to come when called tend to make one think otherwise); and, his gigantic ears are nearly bigger than his furry head and perpetually stand at attention. What's not to love?
More importantly, though, Riley has an ace in his pocket (or is that around his collar) that every other Fluffy and Spot doesn't the editor of the Daily Journal on the judging panel and the newspaper in the list of sponsors. Certainly, I would never ask anybody to do me any favors but (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) I'm sure the fact Riley is already well-known in the office can't hurt. If his absolute adorableness isn't obvious during the parade, at least my editor, Jon Mays, can rely on institutional knowledge of his shining personality and stellar ability to show off a festive costume. Jon can be the Tim Donaghy of the pet beauty pageant world. Sure, he risks being unmasked as a fraud, throwing the outcome for his own benefit, but I will do my best to ensure all seems fair.
The first issue is a costume. It was suggested to me that a Western theme is always a winning combination; I remember something being said about how cowgirl outfits are always eye-catching. The problem is I don't know if I'm quite a fringe and cowboy hat kind of girl and I'm not sure if Riley is keen on the idea of tiny spurs attached to the back of each foot. This year, the judges announced they will award a special ribbon for Best Costume with a Centennial Theme.? Something tells me dressing up as Tom the Tree and outfitting the dog with a lumberjack ensemble complete with ax would not go over so well in Burlingame even if I do have one judged adequately bribed. Maybe I'll have to ditch the costume idea and hope for Most Interesting Pet. I'm not sure how one conveys an animal's level of interest but I've got a couple of days to figure it out. The dog admittedly has an unexplainable fascination with eating wood-based products and anything filled with pillows or foam, but I'm not certain that qualifies as interesting.
Of course, if he really had a skill that met the standard, I might have hauled him over to Redwood City instead. As part of that city's downtown celebration last weekend, organizers kicked off the first annual Your Pet's Got Talent? event. I declined to even enter the dog in that competition; even with a well-planted mole to skew the judging, I'm not positive he would have had a good showing. He can't howl I Love You like the dogs that pop up occasionally on late night television talk shows and he has yet to save anybody from a burning building or bring them a hot toddy if trapped in the snow.
Maybe dressing the dog up and dragging him around in a decorated wagon is the better idea, after all. Keeping him from chewing off the pint-size hat or jumping from the float will be a talent in itself.
- Written by Fiona
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